


You Are The Roaring Sea

by Pyrenees (Captain_Newt)



Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 15:23:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10856748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Newt/pseuds/Pyrenees
Summary: And the gilded sun---She's a backseat survivor. She lives, but is in constant danger of losing everything in the process.





	You Are The Roaring Sea

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the short poem by alioquii on tumblr!

**_You are scared._ **

 

She makes the critical mistake of falling for her, for her best friend, for her confidant. For the only woman in this shattered earth that could destroy her. Grub is alive, breathing, but the same cannot be confidently said for Kot.

She is confined in a small room, cleared for life but only barely. The door opens, and a short woman covered in fur walks in

_(Grub would normally have noticed the guards posted outside, and the look they give the strange woman, but now is not the time, she has to be by Kot’s side. After all, this is her fault.)_

“How did this happen?” The woman says, removing her shroud of white to stand next to the bedside. She smiles, leans down and whispers _(her eyes are like eager daggers)_ “How the hell did you bring her back?”

_(Grub would have realized that this was a Praetor, that she was IMPRESSED by her, but there were answers to be found, and no time to ask questions.)_

Grub pushes herself up from the table, swings her legs towards her and screams. No words, just sound, angry and painful sound that comes from her grief and her own searing pain shooting through every inch of her body.

Even when the door opens once more, and armed guards rush in to push her back to the bed, to hold her down, she continues to scream. The guards try to speak over her, shooting questions like ‘what do you think you are doing’ and ‘respect your Praetor’. They go for her wrists to pin her down, but the Praetor speaks.  
  
“Don’t touch her. She has been through enough.”

_(So condescending. Grub doesn’t need her help, she never has and she never will.)_

She pulls herself back up, gripping the table for the sake of prosperity. She glares towards the Praetor, the two strong women eyeing each other, knowing Grub will be the first to move.

“Next door. Naval is fixing her up.” Grub charges out the door, and the leader follows slowly, continuing to speak. “We think she will live, but she will not have all her parts. If she lets us, we will find a way to make up for it.”

_(Later, when Kot wakes up, she calls mocks Grub for her efforts. “I can’t believe you trudged all that way. I outta start calling you Trudge.”_

_And she takes to it. Trudge waits every night outside of the room Kot is recovering in. Not many visit, but everyday that Praetor stops by. She tells her that she was brave, but she tells her in a way that makes Trudge question why she holds bravery so close to her. Trudge tells her that she is hopeful for Kot’s recovery._

_She says ‘hope is such a dangerous thing’.)_

 

 

**_You are scarred._ **

 

She tries not to think about the betrayal. But how can she not when it surrounds her, stings her every breath. It’s been a week and she still feels the loss, in the way everyone turns to Trudge, says that if she had better control, Pyrenees never would have left.

There is something to be said about the rubble of a crumbling settlement. About the way it produces it’s own white noise. About the way it is so barren yet so easy to hide in.

She needs time to sort it all out, to figure if it was something she did or if it was just in her nature to leave.

 _(The way she left said a lot about their fearless Praetor; but left them trying to put together the sentences. It wasn’t as devastating that Pyrenees was gone, but the way she left_ (wordlessly, suddenly) _the outpost. In shambles following her wake.)_

Unfortunately, when you’re sorting things out, it just looks like wallowing. The outpost didn’t need a sap. They needed a leader. Trudge would fill her shoes and lead them if it was the last thing she did.

_(But that left her shoes empty.)_

 

“Want a drink?” Snuck’s quiet voice offers. Trudge opens her eyes to see him wrapped up in a scarf, giving her a small sad smile. He tries to smile kindly, but it doesn’t suit him. “Misery loves company, so I’ve heard.”

Trudge blinks away her grief, accepts his canteen, and looks away once more. She wishes his company gave her a sort of comforting warmth, but he knows just as she does that they are both cold individuals, seeking out heat that neither can provide. She does, however, find comfort in the fact that they are the same.

_(Alone, and leading a group of people that listened out of fear of retribution, and only a small few out of respect.)_

 

“Do you want me to stay?” He asks. There is no pity in his eyes _(the only part of him that gives any expression in trying times),_ just moderate concern. She puts her hand on his shoulder and nods.

_(He doesn’t like being touched, but with her it has become a normal part of life. She is an exception.)_

“No one would blame you for being angry,” Snuck says after a long while, “not forever, but, at least for a little bit.”

Trudge’s hand involuntarily squeezed his shoulder, fingers tightening around his thin frame. Shame winds up tight around her core, and she speaks for the first time.

  
“For such a long time we _protected_ each other. I was always by her side.” Trudge’s voice cracks as she continues. “I am so fucking angry. What kind of second-in command does that make me?”

“A human one.”  


_(It’s an invitation to talk, but Trudge knows she can’t take it now.)_

 

“We can’t be sure she won’t come back.” He starts, treading lightly. “She leaves often but-”  


“But this isn’t like her! She isn’t gone for this long!” Trudge removes her hand from him as fast as she could, glaring like he was an idiot. Can’t he see the betrayal? Feel it?

 

_(And there it was again, that damnable hope creeping back like a haunting.)_

 

 

**_You are sacred._ **

 

Trudge runs her knuckles along Kot’s skin as they sit in silence, watching Pyrenees and Vox from across the clearing.

There is not guilt to be felt anymore, not when Kot curls into Trudge’s touch, smiling at her like there is no place she’d rather be.  


Kot: Trudge’s terrifying, attractive, and genius girlfriend.  


From across the way, Vox and Pyrenees begin to lift the wooden beams, standing them up as Sustenance wraps wire, creating a defensive wall.

 

_(It was Pyrenees’ way of saying sorry, and thank you. In their settlement, Trudge would teach the new generations how to fight, and how to know when to walk away from one. Trudge would spar and lead the generations of warriors to come. Even if they don’t have to fight. Being a warrior was more than knowing how to fight, it was about who you are. No one knows that better than Trudge.)_

 

“Do you believe in miracles?” Kot laughs, eyeing Trudge as she observes the construction.

  
“I’m not entirely sure,” She whispers before prying her attention away from the work. Her fingers flex slowly before intertwining her fingers with Kot’s, and she finds herself uncurling in response to the warm touch. Kot squeezes reassuringly, and when they are this close, Trudge can feel Kot’s pulse against her own, steady and unyielding. She exudes a kind of strength, unrelenting and powerful. One that Trudge is used to, and reflects it upon another- but where Pyrenees is a storm of adrenaline and daring, Kot is the eye, the calm to return to. And Trudge has, again and again.

_(But now the storm has passed, and they can all sit together in comfortable silence. Everything that needed to be said has been._

“But you make me believe in hope.” She whispers before sealing it with a kiss.


End file.
